I’m hoping to put forth the Enough proposal to schools – it deals with bullying and mental illness. The tagline says it all – ‘I’m fed up with being put down and feeling unloved and misunderstood but I am coming to realise that who I am in myself is enough.’
It wasn’t as a high school teacher that I could easily spot the bullying and the put-downs, but as a student. It made me realise how little education providers can see even if they look really hard as I did.
I used to truly believe that I didn’t deserve to be here. I used to walk past the retirement home on our street o the way to school and wish I lived there – I literally felt jealous of the residents being nurtured, mature and friendly. Who knows? Perhaps bullying went on here? It’s definitely not something that stops at school but it’s a good place to start.
It got to the stage where I was not coping. I tried broaching it with my parents but they didn’t seem to understand, and I couldn’t fully express, the distress I was in. I was called ‘Rej’, ‘Reject’, ‘Daddy Long Legs’, ‘smelly’ and more. I was rejected, laughed at and I didn’t fit into any group until my high school years where suddenly I became respected then popular. This confused me but not deter me in my efforts to treat everyone as special and everyone as important.
In the many years since I have received counselling – the wounds cut deep. Because I have OCD with intrusive thoughts, I believed I was evil and unlovable. I also had to ritualise or I thought my parents would die. Basically I thought I was horrible and crazy. I am sure many of you can relate – even in the present day – it took me years to see the truth.
I am SO grateful that I don’t feel that way anymore! And I’d love to share this message with whoever will have me. I’ve put together a proposal and see where it goes. Stay tuned!
Daring Greatly - My OCD Journey 