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Enough. ‘I’ve had enough but I am enough.’

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I’m hoping to put forth the Enough proposal to schools – it deals with bullying and mental illness.  The tagline says it all – ‘I’m fed up with being put down and feeling unloved and misunderstood but I am coming to realise that who I am in myself is enough.’

It wasn’t as a high school teacher that I could easily spot the bullying and the put-downs, but as a student.  It made me realise how little education providers can see even if they look really hard as I did.

I used to truly believe that I didn’t deserve to be here.  I used to walk past the retirement home on our street o the way to school and wish I lived there – I literally felt jealous of the residents being nurtured, mature and friendly. Who knows? Perhaps bullying went on here?  It’s definitely not something that stops at school but it’s a good place to start.

It got to the stage where I was not coping.  I tried broaching it with my parents but they didn’t seem to understand, and I couldn’t fully express, the distress I was in. I was called ‘Rej’, ‘Reject’, ‘Daddy Long Legs’, ‘smelly’ and more.  I was rejected, laughed at and I didn’t fit into any group until my high school years where suddenly I became respected then popular.  This confused me but not deter me in my efforts to treat everyone as special and everyone as important.

In the many years since I have received counselling – the wounds cut deep.  Because I have OCD with intrusive thoughts, I believed I was evil and unlovable. I also had to ritualise or I thought my parents would die.  Basically I thought I was horrible and crazy.  I am sure many of you can relate – even in the present day – it took me years to see the truth.

I am SO grateful that I don’t feel that way anymore!  And I’d love to share this message with whoever will have me.  I’ve put together a proposal and see where it goes.  Stay tuned!

By annielightning

I'm a 40-year-old girl with a chronic illness who happens to be an award-winning writer.
I love friends, tea, writing, rain on the roof at night and my Chihuahua, Timmy Schmal.
I often write about my struggles with, health, 'unstuckness', OCD and life - and what I am learning through them. I also write for the media entertainment site www.telltalesonline.com and Uno manazine.
Recently I have started a serialised story in blog form which I hope you enjoy. This harks back to the appearance of Sherlock Holmes in The Strand Magazine over 100 years ago.
I don't mind what your beliefs are is or aren't, I hope you find something to encourage or entertain you.

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